Regrets are one of the heaviest burdens that we can put to ourselves. Often, we cannot find a way to avoid them. If we did something in the past that is proven to be wrong, we could not forgive ourselves for doing so. We know that this regret will not change the consequences that this behavior produced and that no one will feel better if we are suffering.
We can and should try to draw some conclusions from our past bad decisions, and not to make them again. Still, all the regrets in the world will not change the past.
My experience
I was lucky to have the parents and friends that helped me grow the habit not to look back, except to learn about my mistakes. I have never regretted my decisions. They seem to be right at that time, and with the information, I had then. Some say that it is a sign of arrogance. I don’t think so. Never be afraid to apologize, admit mistakes, and try to make things better. I just never regretted my decisions.
Looking forward to me is a way to go. Learn from your mistakes, apologize to the people you might hurt, and do your best to compensate for the damage. I try really hard not to make this mistake again.
Regrets in Buddhism
In the Buddhist tradition, the concept of impermanence has a prominent position. The realization that all the thing will pass, and that change is inevitable is one of the cornerstones of this philosophy. It is not unique for Buddhism. In ancient Greece, the philosopher Heraclitus set the idea that everything changes, and nothing last forever.
Accepting that things, events, and people come to existence at one point, live their lives, and then cease to exist is a liberating one. We tend to get attached to the events, people, or ideas and find it hard to let them go. The same goes for pleasant and unpleasant things. We are suffering from bad things naturally, and if we realize that this will pass, we can feel better. But the same goes for pleasant things. They also shell pass. We need to be prepared for this.
Vipassana meditation practice
The meditation technique that contemplates impermanence is called Vipassana. Meditation of insight has the goal of showing that things are here for a brief time and will go away. We should not get attached to them because this attachment will cause us to suffer eventually.
The point of training your mind not to have regrets is that you can then more clearly see the cause and effect of your action, and having a “cool head,” you will be able to act and make things better. That does not mean that you are insensitive or self-centered. It means that you are living in the present and that you will do your best to make this moment for you and others, the best that is achievable to be. Look in the future, not with “pink glasses,” but realistically prepare for the things that are coming. But stay in the present moment. It will save you and your friends and family a lot of anguish and pain, and make you a person that knows how to deal with hardships and who is ready and capable to help all around you.
Do the best for yourself and others
My point is that the behavior that might seem insensitive on the surface often can be more helpful than worry that has no responsibility or action.
Remember, always share, and do your best to help others. But love yourself, accept your mistakes from the past and move on.
Vipassana meditation can help you achieve all that. It will help you realize your true self. There is no need, and you can’t be someone you are not. Be yourself and get the most out of it, for yourself, but others also. The right way of life will get you to the point that you feel accomplished and happy. That’s the point, isn’t it?
If you want to know more
If you want to learn more about things I write about, check out my books. See also what the goal of this web site is. You can check out my other post about mindfulness, and share your thoughts and comments.
If you like this post, please subscribe here, get a free e-book, and get a notification when future posts are published. Also, share with your friends, like, and follow on social media using buttons below.
Enjoy reading!
Share
